Thursday, March 16, 2006

Who's who here?

Ever wonder who you really were? I know you have at least once in your life. Ever really answered that question? Don't worry...I don't think many have either. What else can I say? Even as I write I can't bring myself to say that I don't really know who I am.
Many people experience hard life experiences and come out changed. For someone who pride's himself on being an emotional version of the phoenix I find myself thinking that I never really rose from anything let alone ashes. Whenever a compliment is given to me I shrug it off not because of modesty but because of that foreign internal element. Whenever a negative comment comes my way it's an epiphany as if I never knew that was who I really was. True, people can be full of shit and opinion is just that, but the feedback I've been getting lately is enough to stop and think.
The way I deal with people is through a variety of facades. Different person/situation different facade. I don't know how that's different from how the majority of people work but maybe that's just it. When I even put a mask on for myself, things get tricky... But just the the end I am who I am. I'll find that out when I find me yet again.