what fate love brought

No dramatizations or fanciful verbage here...no I'll just try and tell it like it is. See, ever since I can remember dreaming there's always one that stands out. Of course it helps that this is my only reoccuring dream. I'm in a mansion that has a really dark and twisted feel to it. I'm alone but not really. See the occupants of the mansion are still there and have every intention on finding me and doing whatever horrid things they might when they do find me. While they're trying to find me, I'm trying to find something and it's not the exit. In every one of these dreams I'm caught and of course that's where the dream ends.
I haven't had another dream like that since the last two horrible girlfriends. I really hope that the dreams weren't a sign lol. I'm not sentimental enough to think they were but after tonight...who knows.
I'm actually the topic of this post's ignorance bashing. See, I used to have a friend that pretty much is a xenophobe...which pretty much means he doesn't like anyone but his own race in his own country. Why we became friends is beyond me, but it didn't last long. I'm white myself btw..if you didn't notice. My fiance or hopefully still fiance isn't so it was a recipe for disaster. He met her a few times and it seemed alright but of course he got comfortable and started using racial slurs that offended her...nto of her own race though, but it is no excuse. Any slur is an act of an asshole that needs to be skinned. What did I do you ask? Well I didn't do anything...my fiance pretty much flipped and that was that. Silent me. So the three of us never spent time together, that's for sure. Anyway, long story short, he said nigger and that got my blood boiling. He saw the look on my face and immediately appologized....but, silent me. And I've been silent to this day. I haven't said another word to him.
What does this have to do with the top section? Well I told my fiance what he said and the lack of my action (killing him or ripping out his balls) Sometimes silence doesn't speak louder than words and sometimes that silence tells other people the wrong thing. I don't agree with what my ex friend says or said, but my fiance thought otherwise and at this moment probably still does. For all the bitching I do about injustice, silence was not golden. Maybe I just wasn't meant to find what I was looking for? A lot of people don't in life...and well that's just life. It'll be a long haul to get back some credibility but I'll try none-the-less. For my own ignorance I cannot offer a sufficient appology so I can only say I'm sorry and I hope one day I get a second chance....


Feenix